Treats

I am so in love with ezraa. She is amazing and I hope everyone can experience having this kind of love, when ready, because nothing compares. Nothing.

Work it

Working out ... Finding the time has proven to be easier said than done. I definitely have to plan for it and still take it easy- which is also easier said. I have worked out at home but find I struggle with becoming easily distracted by the domestic duties that beg for my OCD ways. I need to separate myself from the house, my role as momma and list of tasks and focus on my body. Dedicate an hour a day to me and recovering from my waffle filled pregnancy. So gym membership, here I come!

Breastfeeding helped me lose a ton of the weigh but now my skin is left begging for a fixin.

With a mix of P90x, Brazil butt lift videos, gym and running-- I should be back soon.

Firsts for my first!

Ezraa had a big day yesterday and of course is a pro. I introduced her to baby yoga and she was so cooperative and patient/ open and trusting to the positions I put her in. We practice holding her head up but this was really fun to watch her react to. She is vocalizing a lot. Joel says she likes the way it feels on her throat. So she was staring at me while I had her on my knees and in the air and making calm humming noises the entire time. She is 15 days old and better at yoga than me. Go figure.

We also gave her the first bath- in her tiny personal whale tub. I let Joel give it to her since a breastfeeding consultant suggested that be a way for him and Ezraa to bond until we begin with bottle feeding. She was so calm and just let us do our thing! No crying fits or anything! Joel was a natural especially for saying "sooo how do we do this?" right before putting her in there. After, we wrapped her up in a super cute shark towel and brought her into the room to put on her nighttime deal & she gave me a face I knew all too well- but completely paralyzed me... And took a huge liquidy poop all over the towel seeping through onto my jeans. We just laughed, grabbed the camera for the memories and brought her back in for another quick rinse down. She passed out immediately after. Home girl was RELAXED. Lesson learned for us.

Joel got a sweet promotion but it still comes with the nasty tasks like covering the staff's duties- that he manages- if one quits or does not show. Last night we decided to run a paper route together as a family that he was rearranging for a future carrier. It was a big one so I brought the pump and a bottle along just in case sleeping beauty woke up and was hungry. I pumped in the car because I was hurting from how full the ladies were. I sat in the back seat with Ezraa and once done- without discussing it with Joel gave her the bottle to see what she would do. She laid in the carseat with it in her mouth but it just instantly put her to sleep. She didn't suck once. It didn't surprise me because she won't take a pacifier either. I figured- eh, it was worth a try.

We were planning on giving her the bottle next week- I can stress about it then. When we got home she was up and ready to eat. My breast were so sore from the days long feedings so I reached at one last attempt. BOOM. She took to it like a champ. She was almost a little greedy with it- at one point grunting with frustration that enough was not coming out- which later was just her fighting sleep. I was so happy with her killing the bottle. Later this morning I breastfed her and she took perfectly to it per usual. ( some people say introducing a bottle too soon can disrupt a latch with breastfeeding) but she was on point with everything and roles with the punches. She has made being a parent so much fun and easy so far. I am fascinated by her personality and daily growth both physically and developmentally.

I am obsessed with my girl and swell with pride at things no one cares about. I suppose that's being a momma.

Also, my bald child is sloooowly growing hairs!!! :) monk- too!!

I am a mother.

Well. It is there in print. Here on my chest, in little squeals, to remind me. I am a mother. I have a daughter. The proud and overwhelming cry sessions still haven't stopped. I look at her laying on Joel's chest asleep and cant believe how lucky I am. I have a family. I made that beautiful innocent baby and she couldn't be anymore amazing.

My love for her grows daily and I am becoming an expert on my girl. It amazes me, the communication gap that is prevalent yet- a deeper level of understanding we are getting up on. It has taken us a few nights to figure out her ways. Why won't she latch? Probably the diaper or or gas- working on something.

A clean diaper = a clean feed.

Breastfeeding is going so well for something that was the last thing I invested my time in educating us about. My neighbor Mary came through with a fantastic book on breastfeeding- from general information to pumping to tricks. She also gave me a hand pump which I began using a few nights ago after I feed her. She loaded me up with glass bottles and caps and I invested in Modela storage containers. Our freezer is beginning its stock pile. We wont be introducing the bottle to her for a few more weeks because we want a secure latch and commitment to the breast but as much as I love and respect the bond that Ezraav and I have-- I am looking forward to Joel enjoying feeding her and feeling that bond. (not to mention sleeping through a feed)

In the beginning I was a bit frustrated with having to be up all night feeding her and changing her diapers too. --Looking over to an exhausted and sound asleep Joel. Not to mention literally being with her/the non stop pampering (with the exception for an hour and a half) since the day she was born. But he has picked up his game without me saying a word and has taught me a thing or two about what she needs. There were nights where she just rooted and grunted but wouldn't latch. I would cry with frustration and helplessness and he would take her. Burp or change her- problem solved. I felt stupid like " Why couldn't I see something so clear". But I was so consumed with her being fed that his outside perspective made for a perfect team for a happy EZ.

With hormone changes my body is going through amazing and fast paced changes. It has left me with massive weight loss and migraines. No matter how easy I take it- well I eat- the fact is the hormone shifts can cause migraines. I had a mega reality check when I had to care for her when I was losing vision in my right eye- pounding skull and vomiting - by myself all day. I had never even considered being sick and having to care for a baby. It was so difficult and trying.
But the amazing thing about labor is once you experience that level of pain and acknowledge the fact that you conquered it- survived it. The life pains suddenly aren't so bad. Some how it is the universe saying you went through this- this isn't so bad.

Ezraa has been for the most part a very very easy infant. The usual-- calm demeanor and sleep, poop routine. But today both Joel and I noticed major developmental growth & as silly as it is it impresses me - even though it is so minuscule and normal. She is grasping things now with control- a stray diaper...grabbing it and throwing it. She also is finding my nipple without me having to guide her head there. She is adjusting her body when uncomfortable and using her hand/tell-signs when she wants to eat before she attempts to cry. I am very happy with the choice not to swaddle because it has proven to be an effective way for her to communicate with me. She is also very trusting and content in almost any position.