My love for her grows daily and I am becoming an expert on my girl. It amazes me, the communication gap that is prevalent yet- a deeper level of understanding we are getting up on. It has taken us a few nights to figure out her ways. Why won't she latch? Probably the diaper or or gas- working on something.
A clean diaper = a clean feed.
Breastfeeding is going so well for something that was the last thing I invested my time in educating us about. My neighbor Mary came through with a fantastic book on breastfeeding- from general information to pumping to tricks. She also gave me a hand pump which I began using a few nights ago after I feed her. She loaded me up with glass bottles and caps and I invested in Modela storage containers. Our freezer is beginning its stock pile. We wont be introducing the bottle to her for a few more weeks because we want a secure latch and commitment to the breast but as much as I love and respect the bond that Ezraav and I have-- I am looking forward to Joel enjoying feeding her and feeling that bond. (not to mention sleeping through a feed)
In the beginning I was a bit frustrated with having to be up all night feeding her and changing her diapers too. --Looking over to an exhausted and sound asleep Joel. Not to mention literally being with her/the non stop pampering (with the exception for an hour and a half) since the day she was born. But he has picked up his game without me saying a word and has taught me a thing or two about what she needs. There were nights where she just rooted and grunted but wouldn't latch. I would cry with frustration and helplessness and he would take her. Burp or change her- problem solved. I felt stupid like " Why couldn't I see something so clear". But I was so consumed with her being fed that his outside perspective made for a perfect team for a happy EZ.
With hormone changes my body is going through amazing and fast paced changes. It has left me with massive weight loss and migraines. No matter how easy I take it- well I eat- the fact is the hormone shifts can cause migraines. I had a mega reality check when I had to care for her when I was losing vision in my right eye- pounding skull and vomiting - by myself all day. I had never even considered being sick and having to care for a baby. It was so difficult and trying.
But the amazing thing about labor is once you experience that level of pain and acknowledge the fact that you conquered it- survived it. The life pains suddenly aren't so bad. Some how it is the universe saying you went through this- this isn't so bad.
Ezraa has been for the most part a very very easy infant. The usual-- calm demeanor and sleep, poop routine. But today both Joel and I noticed major developmental growth & as silly as it is it impresses me - even though it is so minuscule and normal. She is grasping things now with control- a stray diaper...grabbing it and throwing it. She also is finding my nipple without me having to guide her head there. She is adjusting her body when uncomfortable and using her hand/tell-signs when she wants to eat before she attempts to cry. I am very happy with the choice not to swaddle because it has proven to be an effective way for her to communicate with me. She is also very trusting and content in almost any position.
Motherhood suits you perfectly. I'm going to call you to hang soon. <3
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