Enjoying the calm before the storm

hey chubby pregnancy cheeks. 

Fantastic!

Late night doings

hilarious

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jg0-T2IahdM

I wish I knew how to photoshop

because I could spend all day making these:

Q & A

Just when you think you can't get ANY bigger...

Almost everywhere I go now I get the usual Q & A's. 

I want to wear a big cardboard sign on my chest that says:

"ANY day now.

  Girl. 

  Yes, my first. 

  Ezraa.

  WORKING his ass off for our family, thanks"

Q:   Woah! any day now...When's your due date?

What are you having?

First one?

Got a name?

Why are YOU grocery shopping alone? Where is your husband?

It's amazing how much I am not exaggerating. It's the same questions.

The only people I actually enjoy/get a kick out of when it comes to stranger-interactions is black ladies. They seems to know what you feel right at that moment/find hilarious awesome quick comments that leave you walking off with a big ol grin shaking your head. I was at Publix, on a few occasions, and have enjoyed it immensely.

"Girl, GET that food on- you KNOW you want that Popeyes next door." "You all belly, lucky- don't you love how ya booty grows to ethnic sizes?" "You're gonna have a pretty ass white baby". or my favorite "You KNOW what works....*nodding her head for a long time with neck movements* and whispering...Speeeerrrrrm."
HA!

I don't know if I simply enjoy it because it's different from the awkward flow of questions during check-outs or what.

So I was talking with Jami on the phone the other day, when she and her lady ever so sweetly offered to bring by Krispy Kreme doughnuts for me, that I spend 40% of my day thinking about waffles.

In this, we thought it would be appropriate to make a pregnancy pie chart.

So I did. BOOM!

okay, I'm going to play with my nipples and do squats?

Natural Inducers, my belly.

"Natural" 

This has been my mantra, among many others...

*sneeze/cough* -  "SQUEEZE!" "Kegels" 

*unwanted comments/ obligatory Q & A from strangers* - "Smile through the hormones"

*krispy kreme* - "HOT NOW sign = keep on driving"

*the ever so many discomforts* - "It's all worth it in the end"

BUT

As of lately I am fantasizing about the beauty of Pitocin. Pitocin is a liquid medication that is a synthetic  form of the naturally occurring hormone- Oxytocin. Oxytocin is produced during childbirth and sex, usually. It's know as the "love hormone" and is what can be the biggest trigger for dilation of the cervix- thinning of the uterus. Before pregnancy I never knew either of these terms in a literal sense. Sure, I had heard of them but never thought twice about their roles in my life or how much I would begin to find myself wanting either/or. I told Joel (only slightly joking) that when I go in tomorrow I am going to request that they give me Pitocin) which I don't think they do unless you are past 40 weeks, ugh, nightmare. SO I just grow while she grows- an ounce every 2 days.

I have tried every combination of natural inducers for labor under the sun. (except black licorice, which I would gladly stay pregnant for 9 and a half months more- rather than ingesting & castor oil- because, well, I don't feel like peeing/leaking out of my butt for a few hours) 

Raspberry tea with pineapple snackies, speed bumps and yoga/hour walks, to the more hush hush nip stimulation/ obvious ways to receive oxytocin...and the list gets kookier. 

I have tiny spurts of cramping and aches but I wonder if it's just her inevitable gigantic Tynes/Kirkland head flopping around in there. 

All I have to say is all of those "home remedies" and people who say "try this"- it all was just what happened before their baby came. I'm certain that they don't come until they are ready. But this leaves me wondering- what REALLY makes the D-Day happen? 

Does the baby send out some sort of laser beam to the uterus in a beep boop bee boop manner saying she's ready? Is it a lack of oxytocin being produced, hence the need for Pitocin? It's not really "up to her"- more up to my uterus I'm guessing. Stupid handicapped uterus. 

What ever the case may be I have resorted to the fact that I have a camper. My little hobo has set up camp, pitched her tent, started the fire and chowing down on a can of beans. (insert pregnancy fart joke)

I have resorted to telling myself that everyday that drags along is another day that she is less likely to come out like a little Benjamin Button "Raisin monster" and more like a developed baby. Another day of her eyelashes growing a little longer for presto butterfly kisses and skin plumping out for maximum snuggling action later. 

So we arrive at the end of my, hoped for, 37 weeks and begin week 38 on Saturday of the BIG WAIT, A BIT LATE. 

-- if she does decide she is comfy where she is at- this is going to be the longest 19 days of my life- other than my days away from Joel when we dated long distance.