Hormones

42 weeks. How I loathe thee.

For those of you close to me you know I had delusions of a 37 week delivery. When it passed I thought, I can make it to 40. And now, I reach my 42 mark. My hormones are finally kicking in full-force, with the help and recognition of Joel's positivity, it may be just we what we need to have her naturally. It is an increase of hormones that REALLY are the trigger ( trick) for labor. The real inducer. How can I tell? Well, I had a full-fledged daydream of round house kicking the midwife in the neck that left my blood pressure sky-rocketing. I have swollen and sores on my gums, sensitive nipples out of nowhere, and a awful itchy rash all over my belly. All signs of sensitivity and a rush of hormones. Can it really happen naturally? What a treat... oh, to dream.

The waiting has been rough, the toe tapping has been exhausting and full of pressure. My midwives office has jerked me around and left me with my hands in the air with the scribbled words "no control" on my forehead. BUT The best things about this is feeling the love through all the annoyance. I really can't believe how much support and rooting I have had.

I also think this sick sick joke is toughening me up for after birth. The sleepless nights, constant feeding, and unconsolable crying- feeling of helplessness  and exhaustion has been tapped into and I am dealing with it now- with my self. I feel like a big baby- except I have to deal with myself. I am trying my hardest, truly, to suck up my constant discomfort and boredom- hormones for Joel. He does such an amazing job of leaving his work at work- coming home and being the "support dude". So, when he steps foot in the door I swallow my miserable sorrows and urges to blab to him about nothing- as a thank you. Trust me, it's hard. :)

So the NEW new game plan C that squashes plan B that squashed Plan A: We call on Sunday to see if a room is available for us to take over. They will give me Cervidil and see what happens from there. I'm not holding my breath anywhere near my hopes as far as getting in there that night. Especially since last week they specifically told us they "don't induce on the weekends". We have been royally jerked around by this office --  told to come in and sent away with squashed hopes, left waiting, swapped from person to person and different things, not told my original midwife quit, rescheduled, and the list goes on and on. I am just happy that my body, through all it's changes and painful discomforts is still producing what my baby girl needs to camp out like she needs and providing a warm place for her to grow. I am happy to have my Joel, his momma and my family and friends constant support and love. I am happy that this can't go past Tuesday without holding my girl. I am happy to be meeting my baby- the wait, making it all that much more worth that moment I hear so much about.



I am at this point an overweight, over due, coo-koo lady that should be in the woods talking to herself- like Nell, from the movie Nell.